Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
