Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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