Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
