That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he shaved USA in his pubs
Too much gin, very little bucket
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
