What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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