he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
