DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
