also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
