That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
