I puked a lego.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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