I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
