If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
