Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
