Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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