This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
