She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
