To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
