i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
