Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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