i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
