you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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