I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
