I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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