Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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