1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
