Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
