I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
