i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
