New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
