My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
