hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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