I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
