i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
