can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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