she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
