Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
