i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
