stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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