Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
