It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
