i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
