Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
