If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
