hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
