your thong is hanging out like whoa
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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