How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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