The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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