Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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