The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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