I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
