This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
