Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
