Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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