Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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