His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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