i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
