Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
