You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
