What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize