She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
