College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
