So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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