Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Randomize