So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
