I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
