Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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