please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
