that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize