Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
