At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
